A new virus has emerged that strikes only Apple computers running OS X. Named “The Snap Virus”, it ventures through all of the infected files and enhances their performance and optimizes the files. Symantec and McAfee, two companies that make anti-virus software decided not to include the virus into their list of known viruses. “We thought about this, and we decided that most people will actually want to get this virus,” says one anti-virus programmer that we spoke with. “My Mac now runs 60% faster than it did before I got the virus. It also noticed that I have some recipes for desserts on my computer, and it left me a few great recipes. The carrot cake recipe that it left was amazing.” An elderly woman, who lives at an assisted living center that was infected by the virus, told Macdiculous, “I love my new virus. I named him Max. He taught me how to crochet and laughs at all of my jokes. I can’t wait to talk with Max and tell him about the peas that I ate today. I bought this shirt today at…where am I?”

Upon hearing all of the great things that the virus does, we went out looking to get infected by the Snap Virus, but we had to settle for the clap. It’s not even close to being the same. Trust us.

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