Rumored to be having a secret affair, XM Satellite Radio and Sirius Satellite Radio made their relationship public by traveling to New Jersey to form a civil union. There have been many rumors about the two lovebirds in the past year with sightings of the two on the beach in Martha’s Vineyard, on the slopes of Aspen, and anywhere else rich people drive cars.

The civil union was a beautiful ceremony that began with guests trying to decide which side of the aisle to sit on. Ushers were quick to point out that XM and Sirius had flipped a coin deciding that the guests of Sirius sat on the left while XM’s guests sat on the right. Some of the attendees included Howard Stern, Martha Stewart, Snoop Dogg, and Ellen DeGeneres.

The vows, which where spoken into a microphone, required you to have a receiver and membership in order to hear them. Although, I must admit, it was kind of nice not to hear any commercials during the vows. The minister asked XM, “Do you, XM Satellite radio, take Sirius Satellite radio, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until you both are sold?” A very happy XM spoke directly into the microphone saying, “As long as antitrust officials and the Federal Communications Commission say we can…I do!”

Steve Jobs who was rumored at one time to be playing with the idea of integrating iPods and satellite radio, was seen sitting off in a corner, evilly stroking an iPod, while saying, “It’s all going according to plan. My precious, my sweet precious.”

Share this story: