Macdiculous.com
On a regular basis, Apple publishes a playlist of a celebrity’s favorite songs. Macdiculous has an inside source at iTunes who will leak us an occasional celebrity playlist before iTunes publishes it. The following is Tom Cruise’s Playlist:
Gnarls Barkley: “Crazy”
Patsy Kline: “Crazy”
Aerosmith: “Crazy”
Kenny Rogers: “Crazy”
LeAnn Rimes: “Crazy”
Seal: “Crazy”
Tori Amos: “Crazy”
Julio Iglesias: “Crazy”
Barenaked Ladies: “Crazy”
Paula Abdul: “Crazy”
Supertramp: “Crazy”
Willie Nelson: “Crazy”
L. Ron Hubbard: “Dianetics: The Modern Science of Modern Health (Abridged)”
Today, Namco announced the release of Ms. Pac Man for the Apple iPod. In a stunning turn of events, three of the four ghosts that chase Ms. Pac Man through the game have formed a union and are refusing to work. Blinky, head of the newly formed Dead Video Game Characters Union, Local 1981, told reporters that they are on strike until better working conditions can be met. “We will not stand for this anymore. I have been doing this for over 25 years and there is no sign of any retirement package, or health benefits. Unless you call that box that our eyeballs go to in order for us to have bodies again, health benefits,” shouted Blinky into a megaphone outside of the Namco building. 
As many had speculated, Apple’s new iPhone ad aired during Sunday night’s 79th Annual Academy Awards. The ad shows 32 different movie characters all saying, “Hello?”, or another form of greeting, into a telephone. The original idea behind the commercial happened when Steve Jobs used his cell phone to call his wife’s cell phone, both of whom have Cingular phones. Because of the awful reception, they kept saying, “Hello?” to each other trying to find a spot with decent reception.
With the internet abuzz about what new Apple products will be introduced next month, one product that stands out is the release of a black iMac. This iMac will be different in more ways that just the color. The black iMac would be the same size as the white iMac, but it would have a much longer power cord. Some other differences include the ability to run faster and much bigger speakers. Apple intended on including a new computer language named iBonics that would help black iMacs communicate much better with each other, but it was scraped when programmers realized that white iMacs could not communicate in that language. An upgrade was going to be made to the math processes in the black iMac, but instead Apple will upgrade it in the Yellow iMac due out next year.
As shown in the television series 24, a documentary about a day in the life of a counter terrorist agent, Apple computers can be seen all over the headquarters of top government agencies. Though Apple is not exclusive to CTU (Counter Terrorism Unit) headquarters, the best and brightest of the agents do prefer to work on an Apple. Many Dell computers can be seen in the headquarters, which prove that Mac’s and PC’s can work very well in a working environment. The software that they run is unknown at this time, but it it does work on both PC’s and Mac’s. The software is most likely top secret software that only people working in the highest levels of the government even know about.
Bono, the lead singer of the band U2 is sick and tired of engraving his name into the back of the U2 Special Edition iPod. Though many people think that Bono’s signature was recorded into a computer program and a machine engraved his signature, Bono thought that it would be much more special if he did it on each iPod. “I didn’t know what I was getting into,” stated the U2 front man. “I thought that there might be a few hundred sold and besides, it is kind of cool to use this laser engraver. But this one here is the 16,451st one that I have engraved by hand. I can’t take it anymore.”
Rumored to be having a secret affair, XM Satellite Radio and Sirius Satellite Radio made their relationship public by traveling to New Jersey to form a civil union. There have been many rumors about the two lovebirds in the past year with sightings of the two on the beach in Martha’s Vineyard, on the slopes of Aspen, and anywhere else rich people drive cars.
This past Friday, Steve Jobs lashed out at teachers unions during a conference on education reform. Jobs compared schools to businesses with principals serving as CEOs. “What kind of person could you get to run a small business if you told them that when they came in they couldn’t get rid of people that they thought weren’t any good?” Jobs asked. “Not really great ones because if you’re really smart you go, ‘I can’t win.”‘ Jobs claimed that no amount of technology in the classroom would improve public schools until principals could fire bad teachers. 
Reports have come recently about Mac Mini and the possible eating disorder that it may have. Friends and family of the Mac Mini are coming to its aid. “I work very closely with the Mac Mini, and I am a bit concerned for the safety and the well being of my good friend,” said a 17″ monitor. Also there to help was an Apple remote, who told us, “I started to see a difference in Mac Mini a few months ago, but I didn’t want to say anything. With all of the pressure to stay good looking, I can see why some models will go through all of this. I am naturally thin, so I don’t have anything to be worried about myself, but others are just built wider.”
Giving credit where credit is due, Microsoft has credited Steve Jobs and the entire Apple team in the credits for their newest operating system. Though they are somewhat hidden, the credits for Vista display everyone’s name who contributed to the creation of the software. An Apple programmer told us, “Well, I don’t feel quite as mad about them copying everything that we do. We got credit for helping to create the operating system, so I can’t be mad. That Bill Gates is a pretty nice guy after all.”
After enjoying a sketch from the television show Saturday Night Live, Steve Jobs decided to give his wife “his dick in a box” for Valentine’s Day. “I think that she will really like the surprise. I was thinking about getting her a new iPhone, but what is in this box is much more impressive. You see, it’s my dick in the box,” exclaimed a very excited Steve Jobs.
Apple’s newest version of its iWork suite of programs will feature a version of Minesweeper. Minesweeper is a game that is shown to be the most popular with people at work who are just trying to waste time until the end of the day. Dave, a programmer for Apple, sat down for a few questions about this move.
In a stunning turn of events, it appears that Steve “Woz” Wozniak, one of the original founders of Apple Computer, Inc, is the father of the late Anna Nicole Smith’s baby. The night shift manager of a snack shack in the Bahamas was quoted as saying “We saw that man come into the store many times in one night to get snacks and drinks. We weren’t sure when he slept, because he was always snacking. Then one day, we saw him pull up on his Segway scooter with Anna on the back. They loved to snack.”
Apple has been very successful with their retail stores opening up around the world. With a new store opening tomorrow (February 10, 2007) in Honolulu, Hawaii, Steve Jobs was happy to announce that a new Apple store will be opening up soon after. A delighted Jobs told press, “I can’t really say when or where, but I know that a new one is on its way.”
Apple has announced that the World Wide Developer Conference (WWDC) for 2007 will be held June 11-15th, 2007 in San Francisco, CA. Thousands of Apple developers, programmers, and fans will descend on San Francisco for this event. “I’m so excited because this will be my first one that I will be able to see,” says Seymore Hendricks, a developer for an Apple software company. Of course he is excited about the conference, but that isn’t what he is referring to. Apparently, strip clubs in the area are banking on the fact that there will be many single lonely men coming in from all over the country. Zed, the owner of the , a local gentleman’s club, is very excited. “I get really excited whenever these nerds come into town because the locals here don’t really like this sort of stuff. You know what I mean? There a little fruity,” Zed told us. We were told that there will also be underground orgies, naked parties, and whores will abound. We also heard that the conference will be nice.